Why I hate the Fed Ex man & Doorbells

why i hate the fed ex man

THAT, dear blog readers, is my doorbell. Please, please, please explain to me what is confusing about a BRIGHT RED sign that reads: ‘Baby Sleeping, Please Knock‘. I used to have a bright yellow post-it…but it wasn’t cute. So I made a change…which apparently caused the Fed Ex man to forget how to read.

Maybe I’m Missing Something…


Because I just cannot figure it out. Now granted, I’m a woman, and I tend to read the signs that I see, be they on houses, storefronts (And if it says ‘SALE’, you know I’m stopping!), or the road. Heck, I even read my iTunes agreement (Really. It’s LONG. Trust me.).

I Just Cannot Figure Out How This Is A Difficult Concept!

See, a few days ago (Ish said that I was not allowed to write this post until I had simmered for a few days…you’ll see why in a minute), I put Smalls down for a nap. It had been a battle (Moms, you know what I mean!), and I had finally won. He fell asleep without his swaddle, and was just so very peaceful.

For about ten minutes.

UNTIL the evil Fed Ex man decided to completely disregard my signage and (1) knock VERY loudly, AND (2) RING THE DOORBELL, not once, but FOUR TIMES. SERIOUSLY?!

Here Comes Mama Bear


Now, I’m normally a peace-loving, easy-going (okay, okay, I’ll admit to my type-A tendencies…), people-loving kind of gal. THEN Smalls started crying. Not a ‘hey, mama. I’m awake, please rescue me‘ cry-this was a ‘HOLY CRAP! WHAT WAS THAT?! AM I SAFE?! HELP ME!!!‘ terrified, way, way overtired baby cry. NOT cool, dude. Not. Cool.

So I Did The Mature Thing…Kind Of


Obviously, I chased the Fed Ex man down the driveway in my jammies (no judging y’all), screaming at the top of my lungs. I won’t repeat what I said because it certainly is not  family-friendly.

The gist was that if he was illiterate, that’s one thing, and I understand that he has lots of deliveries to make, but it is not okay to completely disregard the sign that I placed FOR HIM and wake my infant son, you idiot.

Yup. Real mature, Brea. Aren’t you proud of me? The guy didn’t even apologize! I am STILL furious (can you tell?!). Maybe he was colorblind…. Either way, this has me thinking:

Should I put my post-it back out…it’s easier to read (the font is ‘idiot sized‘). Of course, I MUCH prefer the adorable sign in red. To me RED=PAY ATTENTION. What do you think?

To continue reading about my seemingly never-ending doorbell saga:

Posted in



  1. eGarrison on May 5, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    Love it! I have almost done the same thing many times (chase the man I mean). I just decided to remove the doorbell completely. Now I just deal with a loud knock and a barking dog. Isn’t it fun?!

  2. Brea on May 5, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    SO glad I’m not the only mama bear out there!

  3. Crystal Jigsaw on May 6, 2011 at 7:08 am

    People are just so oblivious to what’s going on around them aren’t they. I suspect he’s never had to get a child to sleep and if he does have children, I would imagine it’s his duty-bound wife who does all the childcare. Make your sign bigger and bolder.

    We have a delivery man who hoots his horn when he draws up in our driveway. It’s very, very annoying. The first time he did it I asked him why. “You have dogs, don’t you?” he said. “Yes,” I said. “Well I don’t want them running out and biting me.” I did you not, this guy was built like a double decker bus! What a wuss!!

    Have a great weekend, hope it’s peaceful!!

    CJ xx

  4. Brea on May 6, 2011 at 8:03 am

    WOW. That’s pretty funny! I would have told him that honking would make them angry and more likely to bite 😉

  5. An Irish Italian Blessing on May 6, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    Someone in my baby board just posted this exact same thing yesterday! It was the FedEx guy too, not the UPS or the mail man, Fed Ex. Maybe they go through some moronic training that teaches them to ignore signs placed strategically next to doorbells.

  6. Brea on May 6, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    OOOH…maybe that’s it. Or they have to take an IQ test-if they test too high, well…they get sent to UPS 🙂

  7. Joy Page Manuel on May 6, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Funny (to me), obviously not so funny to you. Sorry about what happened. That red sign is so cute, I must say. Perhaps Fed Ex guy rang the bell to convince you that your sign is not effective so that maybe he can have it for himself??? Seriously though, I hope it never happens again. I feel your pain. (visiting from the blog hop on Makobi Scribe). Thanks!

  8. Brea on May 6, 2011 at 7:54 pm

    Luckily I can laugh at myself-I probably overreacted a bit…thanks for visiting!

  9. Jennifer on May 6, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    Mine does the same thing despite the sign! I am stopping by from the Alexa Hop. Here you can find my story.

  10. Brea on May 6, 2011 at 9:44 pm

    Maybe they really DO take a class….

  11. Love You Always & Forever on May 6, 2011 at 11:29 pm

    At least your fedex guy lets you know he delivered something! LOL! (I’d be POed if mine did it the way yours did tho!!) mine doesn’t even knock, ring the door bell nothing! So whenever I get a package, even though I am HOME I don’t know about it until I happen to open the door!!
    I think I’d have to kill mine if he didn’t read a sign that said please knock and then didn’t….UGH!!!

  12. Momma3J on May 6, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    Classic! I can totally relate. I remember when I first came home from the hospital with my oldest son. He had just fallen asleep and I was going to take a quick nap, since that is what everyone told me to do: “sleep when the baby sleeps”. Sure enough, there was a loud pounding on the door as soon as I closed my eyes…but the culprit was UPS. LOL!!! My suggestion, no matter which sign you use, put it OVER the doorbell. If he still rings it, call and complain to Corporate and tell them to send his rear end back to grade school. Hoppin’ through on the Alexa Hop. I hope you have a great weekend! Please stop by http://www.matterofcents.blogspot.com

  13. Melissa on May 6, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    That is so rude of him. He has a job, but part of that job is making his customer happy. I would have chased him, too! Dropping by from MAkobi Scribe’s Alexa Hop.

  14. Brea on May 7, 2011 at 12:56 am

    I’m so glad that I’m not the only one!!

  15. Skye on May 7, 2011 at 1:34 am

    Put it OVER the door bell!

  16. shannon on May 7, 2011 at 7:15 am

    I would be ticked off. We have 5 cars in our yard. The UPS lady was like is this a business or a residence. I said this is my home why. She saw that we have 5 cars.
    I said 2 are company cars, I have one & hubby has one.
    Then the Jeep is my personal , my husband has his on truck and my daughter just turned 15 and has her own car.

  17. Brea on May 7, 2011 at 7:25 am

    We have a neighbor that has a TON of cars-they have three teenagers, though 🙂 You’re completely right. YOUR house, YOUR business!

  18. Callista on May 7, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    Oh geez. I think the post it note is better actually because if they see a hand written note, they figure it’s for me. If it’s a store bought sign, it’s assumed to be just a decoration.

    I don’t have that problem as my baby sleeps through anything (at least for now, that will probably change as he gets older and fights sleep.)

    Stopping by from Alexa Hop. I now follow.

    Callista’s Ramblings

  19. Brea on May 7, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    I was hoping because the sign is very handwritten-looking that people would look at that as an effort…

  20. The Old Block House on May 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    How about rigging a cattle prod to the doorbell?
    Give the FedEx guy a little shock.

    Hopping from the Alexa Hop. Please visit me at https://theoldblockhouse.blogspot.com/2011/05/lets-go-to-movies.html

  21. Brea on May 7, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    LOL 🙂

  22. fancygrlnancy on May 8, 2011 at 12:49 am

    awww that sucks. I have had the same problem. We actually have a piece of paper over the top of our doorbell that says, “DO NOT RING.” not only does it wake the baby, it makes the dog bark like crazy.

    stopping by from the alexa hop, would love a visit back https://www.arizonamamablog.com/2011/05/support-me-in-walk-with-me-for-easter.html

  23. Sandy Elliott on May 8, 2011 at 10:57 am

    Love that you chased him! Maybe that will get him to read the sign(s) next time he visits your house. 🙂

    Stopping by from the Alexa hop.
    Sandy~ French Macaroons

  24. Chase on May 8, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    That sucks! I know how precious nap time can be (for everyone!) I think the post it looks like you just wrote it–so might be noticed more than the red sign that may just be dismissed as decoration. (but yeah- can’t believe he missed it!)

    Visiting from the alexa blog hop!
    Chase’s View

  25. Danielle on May 11, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    I have noticed that when Fed Ex delivers me packages, he just drops them, knocks a few times and is gone. I live in an apartment and we have quite a long walk way back out to the parking lot. I never understood how he could knock on the door and be gone. I would get to the door within 3 seconds and he is no where to be seen. Does he drop the package, knock and run? Could you possibly cover up your doorbell while the baby is asleep? I only say this because I really don’t think any mail delivery person would pay attention to anything near your door. They just see a doorbell and.. RING!

    I’m a new GFC and Networked Blogs follower; following from the Alexa Hop. I have a blog hop on my blog as well if you’d like to link up. http://www.adeliciousobsession.com

  26. Mama Chocolate on May 12, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    Hang the sign OVER the doorbell! 😀

    Stopping by (very late!) with my Alexa toolbar! 😉

    Johanna at Mama Chocolate
    Family life, tips for mom, reviews, giveaways and more!

  27. Brea on May 16, 2011 at 8:51 pm

    I definitely need to re-post-it 🙂

  28. Uncle Jeffy on September 19, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    where did you buy the red sign? i’ll try that idea here.

Leave a Comment